Q. Uncle Dick, My
mate has a really cool system for getting Rabbits out of the warren. He
reckons you pour petrol down the holes and plug all the holes with
newspaper. The Rabbits will come out and just sit around while he shoots
them because they refuse to go down the holes again. Have you ever heard
of this method?
A. Talk about a small world. I met your mate last week whilst Rabbiting up the hills, he was halfway through this wonderful technique and to tell you the truth I thought he was being a tool given the already high fire danger. Anyways, after saying howdy with my size 11's, I doused your mate with petrol and shoved some newspaper up his arse to act as a wick. Right about then seemed like a good time for a smoke...your mate won't be doing that trick again, screamed like a sheila too.
Q. Dick, I hear a
lot of conflicting opinions on what is causing global warming and it's
effects on the planet. You're a student of nature, what do you think is
going on here.
Q. Dick, my grandpa gave me an
old octagonal barrelled Winchester 92 recently chambered in .25-20 WCF,
the barrel is pitted badly but the rest of the rifle is OK. I'm thinking
of having it rebarreled and chambered for .218 Bee, what do you think of
Q. Dick, what's
your take on the current trend in stainless synthetic rifles versus the
beauty of rich bluing and the warmth of wood? I find the synthetic stocks
A. It isn't rocket science you know, the synthetic stock feels plasticcy cause it's made from plastic. About the only time I've felt warmth from wood is when I've stoked the campfire. I bet you thought the wood-grained panels on the Brady Bunch station wagon were cool too.
Q. Uncle Dick, why is it that when you ask a bunch of supposedly experienced hunters what is an adequate caliber for say Buffalo or Sambar, you always get a range of cartridges from cannons to pea shooters recommended.
A. The same reason that blokes with small dicks still manage to have kids. It's all to do with how you use it.
Q. Hey Uncle Dick,
I've been told that to get the best from my shooting, I should try to be
as relaxed as possible. So what does a bloke in a highly stressed job like
you do to relax.
Dick, I've been having a running argument with a
couple of my shooting mates about the ethics of shooting game at long
range. I reckon if an animal is more than 150m away, you should get in
closer to ensure a humane shot. What do you think of these clowns shooting
game at 400m and 500m?
Uncle Dick, A very experienced big game hunter I
know warned me of the dangers of approaching downed game. He reckons what
he does is put his finger up the bum of the downed beast, whilst holding
his rifle in the other hand and watches for a reaction. Sounds a bit funny
Shoot straight you bastards!
Australian Hunting Net ©2006