Q. Dick, I'm just starting to get into real serious hunting and exploring some of the more remote & rugged country. I really enjoy the peace & solitude and like to hunt alone but my mates reckon it is not a good idea. What do you think?
A. I think getting lost or injured and starving
to death certainly heightens the senses and provides lots of solitude. Look, I enjoy solo
hunts as much as anybody but at the same time there is a lot to be said
for having a hunting mate along when things go tits up. Fresh meat, extra
ammunition, water, and of course boots & clothing are there for your
exclusive use. I make sure all my mates take the same size boots & clothes
that I do.
A. A quality set of bolt cutters and a fast
four wheel drive will get results no problem.
A. All the Barnes are based on the original all
copper bullet and contrary to popular belief this was not the Barnes
X-Bullet at all. The original project development name given to this
bullet was the Barnes MTR (Make Them Run). The highly paid
hairdresser that designed this bullet liked the idea of tracking game by
following a blood trail. I think the Barnes bullets have done more to
popularise tracking wounded game than anything I've seen since bulk ex
military 6.5 Swede FMJ ammo was sold by Fullers at primary school tuck
A. You need to stop enjoying it. All dogs simply aim to please their master, no good blaming the dog for your peculiar indulgence. I once had a Beagle that liked to lick my nipples.....I sure do miss that dog. I now have a black Labrador that I use as a companion dog for my deer hunting. Some of you may remember seeing him as a pup, well he has grown and filled out a little since then. Some DSE poofter tried to tell me my dog was not a Labrador and therefore not a recognised breed! I suggested he go get himself some new glasses. I may not have papers for my Lab but the breeder that sold him to me said it was a black Lab and that is good enough for me. Here's a photo of my Lab 'Bouncer' I took last week as we pulled into a highway rest stop for some smoko....he looks a bit bushed cause he was driving most of the night.
Q. Hey Dick, after my grandfather recently passed away, I was going through his stuff in the attic and I found a well used BSA Martini in .22 Hornet amongst his hunting gear. What can you tell me about this rifle?
A. Apart from it's old & fucked, not much I'm afraid and the 10 shot magazines and tubegun kits can be hard to find for a Martini. The rifle does say a fair bit about your pop though. He no doubt enjoyed going for long walks in the summer rain and very much enjoyed the feel of a wet frock against his skin. I mean really, why do you think the old coot hid the horrid clunker in the attic?
Q. Hey Dick, I was at Little River range last weekend when some weirdo metrosexual approached me and asked if I'm going to the Wodonga Big Bore Shoot. He said I should not bother bringing my heavy varmint rifle as he will be bringing a Blaser to kick everyone's arse. He then hopped into his Toyota hybrid, put on an ABBA CD and drove off. I've never even seen a Blaser, what are they?
Q. Uncle Dick, I've managed to get a loaded live round stuck in my full length sizing die as I like to full length size my live rounds to straighten them up a bit. What is the best way to get the stuck round out of the die?
A. Hmmm...you're kind of
special aren't you? I bet you wash your hands and wipe your arse before taking a
dump too. The mind boggles as to what sequence of events would
transpire should you attempt changing a light bulb. But I digress.
Q. Uncle Dick, I'm so sick of the scumbag politicians wasting the public's money and indulging in what amounts to inappropriate behaviour...at our expense. I see the chair sniffer treasurer from WA has trod on his dick again and actually got the sack. I would really like to see more transparency and jail terms on top of the sack for politicians caught with their snout in the trough.
A. That's some pretty wild and over the top suggestions from you son. I suggest you squirt a little Pure & Simple into a plastic bag, breathe in and relax. No, what we need is a measured sensible approach to our politicians, starting with a salary cap equal to first year apprentice wages and public executions of randomly selected pollies after Sunday morning church services. It may not improve their behaviour but will boost public morale for sure and keep the slimy pricks on their toes.
Q. Uncle Dick, I'm constantly the butt of jokes amongst my hunting mates because I often miss easy shots due to Buck Fever. I've always suffered from this condition but don't really understand the cause and I just don't see the funny side to this like my mates do.
A. Yes I fully ridicule your situation as premature
ejaculation is really a laughing matter. Treatment for your condition is exactly
the same, you must desensitise yourself. Try carrying a photo of a
politician like Amanda Manstone in your pocket for those moments when you
find yourself excited. I guarantee a quick look will kill the mood
instantly. This method is not without risk of course and you may well find
great difficulty in getting excited ever again......in which case I can
send you a copy of one of my favourite movies Debbie Does Cabelas.
Australian Hunting Net ©2008